It's complicated The perfect excuse
by AngstyFluff
Summary: LJ She hadn't seen him in three months since he took off his wedding ring. Then his father is ill and he just shows up. What is she supposed to do? Should she tell him she is pregnant? No she should keep quiet and tell him when the timing is better.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Lily Potter was sitting at her desk, she was meant to be catching up on paperwork but she just couldn't concentrate. Would she even be known as Healer Potter for much longer. She and her husband James had agreed to separate three months ago, she hadn't spoken to him since. Although they didn't see a lot of each other while they were married, he was an Auror and she a Healer so they were both really busy, she missed him. They had only been married for a year, and now it was over.

And she was pregnant and she hadn't told James.

Her life was one big mess. She lived a flat that was still being decorated, she had been on call at the hospital for three days straight to avoid going to her undecorated flat. She still hadn't had a check up for the baby, she couldn't even think about the baby. She had no idea what to do and she didn't have much time left to decide. She was fourth months along, in a few weeks it would be too late to terminate the pregnancy. Should she get in touch with James and tell him? Her life basically sucked right now, so she coped the only way she knew how. She worked until she couldn't stay awake to think anymore.

"Healer Potter, we have a major trauma victim," shouted one of Lily's subordinates.

"I'm coming," she said getting to her feet too quickly. She suddenly felt nauseas, she rubbed her growing bump. Luckily it wasn't big enough for anyone to notice yet, it just looked like she had put on a little weight. "Don't start, we can eat later."

Lily ran down to the ER and saw the patient, he was unconscious and covered in blood. Wait a minute she knew that hair, her blood ran cold.

"Name?" Lily demanded from the nurse going through the patients personal affects.

"David Potter, Auror injured in the line of duty," said the nurse.

"Thank god," whispered Lily, then she felt terrible. Why was she thankful that James' father was the one that could possibly be dying. She knew David, she liked him he was just an older version of James. "Get him in trauma two!"

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Twenty minutes later, Lily was still working on David. He was in really bad shape and they couldn't save him without an operation potions and spells weren't working. They had to go in and cut out the poison that was slowly shutting down his organs.

Lily had just got David stable enough to be taken to surgery, so she looked out into the waiting area. James, Sirius and Gloria Potter were anxiously watching.

"Take over for me," Lily ordered one of the other healers. "I need to get the family's consent for the surgery."

"The nurse usually does…" started the healer.

"I know the family," snapped Lily. "They are prepping the OR, take him down once you administer the last of those," she said pointing to the potions on the tray.

"Okay."

Lily took a deep breath and stepped out into the waiting room. James, Sirius and Mrs. Potter immediately jumped up.

"What's going on? Where are they taking him?" asked Gloria, sounding almost hysterical.

"They are taking him to the Operating theatre," said Lily, taking Gloria's hands in hers and guiding her to sit down.

"How is he?" asked James sitting down next to his mother.

"I'm not going to lie. It's very serious, we think he was hit by some sort of poison. The poison is now working its way through his system causing his organs to shut down." Said Lily seriously. "I know it sounds scary, but Gloria we think we can fix it with an operation. It involves cutting the affected tissue manually and repairing the organs. We don't think the poison has had enough time to do irreparable damage."

"What are the risks of the surgery?" asked James, knowing that Healers never operated manually if they could help it.

"There is the risk that we might not get all the poison, nerve damage, organ damage. He could be paralyzed if we make one small mistake. It's risky, but if we don't operate…he'll be dead within the hour," said Lily trying to sound professional and unaffected.

"Oh…" gasped Gloria and she started to cry.

"It's okay." Said Lily soothingly, hugging Gloria. "I'm going to do everything I can to make sure he is okay. I promise."

"What do you think? If it was you, would you have the surgery?" sniffed Gloria.

"I think David would want to fight this, he wouldn't give up." Said Lily, avoiding looking at James.

"Okay then, you think you can do it?" said Gloria.

"I think so," said Lily.

"Alright then." Nodded Gloria.

"I just need someone to sign…" said Lily quietly.

"I'll do it," said James taking the clipboard from Lily's hand and scrawling his name.

"I'll come and find you as soon as we're done," said Lily taking the form from James, trying to ignore her racing heart as their hands touched.

"You'll look after him," said James looking deep into Lily's eyes.

"I promise," she whispered.

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David's surgery had been a complete success, Lily had told James, Sirius and Gloria and they were with him now. Lily was in the locker room, her boss had ordered her to go home. She had been sick three times since she came out of surgery. She never got her morning sickness in the morning, her work schedule meant that she was working almost all night so her body was out of sync with everyone else. So she expected her morning sickness around mid evening most days. She knew she had to make a decision about the baby soon, she should talk to James. But she couldn't do it now, his father had almost died, she couldn't tell him now.

"How are you feeling David?" Lily asked cheerfully as she walked into his room before she went home.

"Happy to be alive," he said. "From what I hear you are a very clever girl, getting rid of all that nasty poison."

"I had a lot of help," said Lily lifting his chart.

"You going home?" Gloria asked noticing that Lily had changed into jeans.

"Yeah I've been here for three days straight," said Lily scanning the chart.

"You don't look well dear. Are you alright?" asked Gloria concerned. After the death of Lily's parents Gloria took it upon herself to become a surrogate mother to her.

"It's just exhaustion," lied Lily. She felt bad about lying, but she couldn't just announce she was pregnant.

"Have you been sick?" asked Gloria.

"Hmmmmm I'm fine really," Lily insisted.

"You need a good meal and some sleep."

"I know," smiled Lily, it was nice how concerned Gloria was about her even though she wasn't even with James anymore.

"You're recovering well David, you should be discharged in a few days," said Lily noticing that James was looking anywhere but at her. "I'll come by and check on you in the morning."

"Oh no you won't. You are taking the day off," Lily groaned when she heard the voice of her boss, Calvin.

"I'm fine," she insisted.

"You haven't slept in three day, and you look like death on an ugly day," said Calvin.

"Oh thanks," she said sarcastically.

Calvin was only slightly more senior than Lily and had recently taken it upon himself to look out for her, like a big brother. He was married but his wife had died a year ago. He was the only person that knew Lily was pregnant, because he had caught her being sick and noticed the weight gain. They were now sort of friends, they kept each other company and talked about the things they couldn't with anyone else.

"I'm just being truthful," said Calvin casually putting his arm around Lily's shoulder. "You are going home right now, and I'm going to make you dinner."

"Right…I better go, I will come by and see you before you are discharged," said Lily to David.

"Take care dear," said Gloria.

"I will and you."

James just sat there and watched some guy he had never met lead his wife out the room. Was she seeing him? They had only separated three months ago, Lily wouldn't get over it that quickly would she? He hoped not because that might mean he would have to start accepting the fact that their marriage was over. He wasn't sure he was ready for that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"So…that was James?" asked Calvin as he walked Lily home.

"Yeah, the one in the glasses was James," said Lily, still thinking about him and how weird it had been to be around him.

"How was it?" he asked cautiously.

"I saved his Dad's life, we didn't talk much," said Lily quietly.

"You didn't tell him you're pregnant then?"

"No I didn't. It's not something you can just drop into conversation 'you're dad will die if we don't slice him open, oh and I'm pregnant.' I don't even know what I'm going to do about the baby."

"If you were going to terminate you would have done it already," said Calvin. He had gotten to know Lily quite well over the past few months.

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"You can't bury your head in the sand much longer," he said wisely.

"I can't tell him. I can't do it, we agreed to be amicable…we can't have a baby… I can't tell James," babbled Lily.

"What happened between the two of you? You never told me," said Calvin leading Lily into her flat. "Did he treat you badly?"

"No. No James never treated me badly, or hurt me." Sighed Lily.

"Then what?"

"We got lazy, we got successful and lazy. We were working all the time and hardly saw each other and when we did we were tired and argued all the time," said Lily sadly. "Then after one huge fight, I got thinking and I thought we should go on holiday, take a break and get some help…and James…he took off his wedding ring and said he thought a separation would be best. We both packed and moved out, and then I saw him today. That's it, the whole sorry story." Said Lily feeling close to tears.

"I'm sorry," said Calvin putting his arm round her. "You still love him?"

"Of course I do, he's my husband. You can't just stop loving someone like that," said Lily rested her head on Calvin's shoulder.

"I know, it's okay. You can talk to me about any of it, you know."

"I know."

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"How did it go?" Calvin asked Lily the next day. She had finally gone for a check up for the baby, Calvin had been waiting outside for her.

"Fine, I'm 18 weeks along and the baby is perfectly healthy." Said Lily.

"Great, so everything is good?"

"Yes everything is fine," said Lily then she took a deep breath. "I'm having a baby."

"You are. Are you freaking out?"

"Yes."

"James is down in recovery with his dad, you could talk to him now," said Calvin casually.

"No not yet," Lily insisted. "but I do need to go and check on David. I'll see you later."

"Lunch?"

"See you then."

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"James hi," said Lily surprised. She was on her way to see David, when she literally walked right into James.

"Lily…I was just coming to find you," said James.

"I was just coming to check on your Dad," said Lily laughing awkwardly.

"I just…wanted to thank you for…you know saving his life," said James.

It was strange they had been together so long and now he didn't know what to say to her. He didn't even know how to look at her now. He couldn't look at her like she was his wife, he couldn't. He couldn't look at her like he loved her more than life itself, because they were separated. He couldn't look at her like she was a friend, because she was so much more than that. So he settled for not looking right at her at all.

"It's my job, and he's like family to me too," said Lily.

"Right…I just wanted to say thank you, and thank you for being so…"

"James, this is me. We agreed to end things before we hated each other, we can be friends." Said Lily noticing his discomfort.

"I'd like that," grinned James.

"Me too," said Lily smiling back at him. "Anyway I really do need to go and check on…"

"Have you done it yet?" Calvin interrupted. He had spotted Lily talking to James while he was on his way to check on a patient.

"No, I'm just on my way to check on the patient," said Lily pointedly.

"Right…" grinned Calvin then he laughed softly. "Get on with it Evans."

Neither Lily or Calvin noticed James flinch not only at Calvin flirting with his wife, right in front of him, but he had called her Evans. Had Lily changed her name back to Evans, so soon?

"Oh I'm going," she laughed. "You coming James?"

"Uh yeah I'll be along in a minute, mum wants some coffee," said James each word paining him.

"Okay."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

James was in the corridor waiting to take his dad home. He saw Lily she looked like she was arguing with her boss, not that Calvin bloke some other Healer. He discreetly inched closer so he could hear, they were speaking in hushed tones.

"Get somebody else to do it," Lily hissed.

"Why can't you? You've done it before, you know how to work the machine."

"I can't do it."

"Why not?"

"I'm pregnant you moron!" hissed Lily.

"Wh…uh" said James eloquently as he nearly fell to the ground in shock.

"James!' gasped Lily helping him to stay on his feet. "Are you okay?"

"You…you're pregnant?" he spluttered.

"Oh…you heard that?" said Lily. "I…I should have…"

"No…it's fine," said James trying to wrap his mind around it. "I'm sure you and Calvin is it, will be very happy together. C…congratulations"

"James…it's…" tried Lily but James had wandered off.

---------------------------------------------------

That night James was in the Leaky Cauldron sitting at the bar, downing firewhiskey after firewhiskey. He was trying to drink away the fact that his wife was with someone else and was pregnant by them. He just couldn't take it in. They had only split up three months ago, and already she was starting a family with someone else. How could she have done that? He hadn't even thought about other women since Lily. He hadn't stopped thinking about her. She was his wife, he shouldn't have suggested a separation he had thought they just needed a break from each other and now she was gone for good.

"Mate, what's wrong? Mum just called to say you didn't show at the hospital," said Sirius sitting down next to James and signaling to the barmaid to bring him a drink.

"She's gone, really gone for good," said James polishing off yet another drink.

"Who? Lily?" said Sirius confused. "She hasn't gone, you know where she is."

"But she isn't mine anymore, is she?"

"Has she started dating again? Is that what this is about? You told her you wanted to separate, you can't expect her to be miserable forever," said Sirius. He didn't mean to be so harsh with James, but he was feeling sorry for himself. Sirius had never agreed with their decision to separate.

"She's seeing someone, having his baby too. So yeah I am sitting here getting pissed and feeling sorry for myself. I think I'm allowed to do that."

"Seriously?"

"I heard it straight from her." Said James sadly. "So I'll be here until closing, care to join me?"

"I'll be back soon mate," said Sirius hitting James on the back supportively. "Don't do anything stupid."

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Sirius went to Lily's flat, he could hear voices inside. He knocked on the door and Calvin answered the door. Sirius saw red, what James had said must be true why else would he be answering Lily's door.

WHAM

"That was for Prongs," muttered Sirius, wincing a little at the pain in his fist.

Lily ran out of the kitchen and saw Calvin on the ground bleeding and Sirius rubbing his fist. It didn't take a genius to work out what had happened.

"Sirius Black! What are you doing?" she demanded.

"James is my best mate," he said.

"Come in here right now," said Lily sternly sounding a little like Gloria.

Sirius hesitated, then he saw the look on Lily's face. Lily was scary normally but pregnant, hormonal and pissed off. It would be best to do what she said.

"In there," she pointed to the living room.

Sirius went inside, not before standing on Calvin's hand on his way past.

"Are you okay? I am so sorry…at the hospital when James…he thought the baby was yours…" babbled Lily helping Calvin to his feet and examining his face.

"I'm fine. Go in there and put him straight. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," said Calvin. He was trying really hard to be the nice guy, the good friend. But inside he was screaming at her to forget about James and love him and raise the baby with him. But he was her friend, and friends give good advice not selfish advice. It wasn't Lily's fault he was in love with her.

"Right. Okay. Thank you for being so understanding and nice, you're my rock you know," said Lily.

"It'll be okay," said Calvin gently then he got up and went into the kitchen.

"So I assume you spoke to James," said Lily calmly as she joined Sirius in the living room. He was furiously pacing.

"Yeah, your damn right I saw him. I thought it was him just being an idiot but look at you…you're up the duff," spluttered Sirius glaring at Lily.

Lily was wearing a fitted t-shirt, in which it was definitely obvious that she was pregnant not just fat.

"Very observant," said Lily dryly.

"You are cold…"

"It's James'," she interrupted him. She knew Sirius he was about to call her a string of insults, he would regret and apologise for later.

"What?"

"We separated three months ago. How pregnant do you think I am?" said Lily exasperated. Sometimes boys were so stupid, it was obvious she wasn't just a few weeks along.

"How pregnant are you?" he asked warily.

"Four and a half months you moron."

"Merlin."

"Exactly."

"Why the hell didn't you tell him that earlier? Do you have any idea what sort of state he's in?" said Sirius remembering how mad he was supposed to be.

"I was going to but…he disappeared and I couldn't find him," said Lily quite feebly, she hadn't really looked that hard for him.

"You should have told him months ago."

"Perhaps. But in case you didn't notice I was a wreck, my marriage suddenly ended. I couldn't cope, I thought about a termination in fact I thought about it so long when I decided to keep it would have too late to do anything anyway. I just had my first check up this morning…" said Lily. She trusted Sirius, she knew he would understand if she explained.

"But you are going to tell James?"

"Yes, yes of course I am. I was always going to tell him, I was just putting it off. But he was always going to know," sighed Lily.

"Right then. Make sure you tell him tomorrow."

"I will."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Calvin let himself into Lily's flat, he was on his lunch break. Lily had told him she would go and tell James about the baby that morning. He wanted to know how it went.

"Lily, the door was open," he called. Then he heard it, it sounded like she was crying. He opened her bedroom door and saw her curled up on her bed, she was sobbing. From what he could see, she had been there a while.

"What's the matter? What happened?" he asked crouching down so he was face to face with Lily. "Did you talk to James?"

"N-no…I-I didn't…" she sobbed.

"Come on calm down and we can talk," he said taking her hands and leading her into the kitchen.

"Are you ready to tell me what happened?" Calvin asked, as he handed Lily a cup of tea. She had calmed down in the few minutes it had taken him to make the tea.

"I was going to go and see James this morning, but before I could this arrived," said Lily handing him a big brown envelope.

"I'm sorry," said Calvin as he scanned the contents of the envelope. "You need to talk to him."

"It's just…I can't believe he filed for divorce. I guess it makes sense, he thinks I'm having your baby…but still divorce…I can't believe I'm getting divorced." Said Lily, even though she found out hours ago, she was still in shock. She had never even thought about her and James getting divorced. It just seemed so final, it was really over.

"I know," said Calvin putting his arm round her. "You need to go and talk to him. He doesn't know the full story. He thinks the baby is mine."

"I know, I know…"

"Go and freshen up and I'll come with you if you want."

"No, no I need to talk to him myself. Thank you though," said Lily getting up and shuffling miserably to the bathroom.

"That idiot doesn't deserve her," Calvin muttered once Lily was out of earshot.

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Lily had gotten James' new address from Sirius and was standing outside his front door. She was so nervous, she didn't know if James would even listen to her. He had filed for divorce, he might not be interested in her or the baby. Either way she had to know. So she took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. It took a few minutes but finally she heard James stumbling around inside. Finally he opened the door, in his boxers obviously hungover, his hair was sticking up at odd angles and he had what looked like a smudged phone number written on his chest.

"Have I come at an inconvenient time, _stud_?" asked Lily with a little smile on her face.

"Lily…" said James trying to cover his eyes with his hand.

"Yeah…I can come back some other time. I just really need to talk to you…today." Said Lily thinking about chickening out again. "It's important."

"Right…" said James still half asleep.

"Meet me at the park round the corner in half an hour?" she asked knowing she wasn't going to get any sense out of him until he had had a shower and plenty of coffee.

"Okay."

"See you then."

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Half an hour later Lily went to the park like she had said. She immediately spotted James sitting on a bench facing the pond. He was holding a coffee cup, looking down at the grass if she could see his face she would have seen how miserable he was.

"Hi, thanks for coming," said Lily pleasantly as she sat down next to him.

"No problem," said James trying not to look as unhappy as he was. "I assume you got the papers."

"Yeah I got them this morning, but that isn't what I wanted to tell you…I mean I know we have to deal with that as well…but…"

"I meant it yesterday about you and…It's fine really…" said James painfully and all that was running through his mind was that she would have Calvin's baby but she had never wanted his.

"About me being pregnant? I just wanted to…"

"I don't need to know Lily. I told you it's fine…if you're happy. The divorce doesn't have to be messy. I'm happy for you," said James getting up.

"Stop interrupting me, and get back here," Lily demanded when she saw him try to walk away.

"Lily don't…" said James wearily. It was exhaustingly painful trying to be happy for her, it broke his heart but it was Lily…he could and would do anything for her.

"James just look at me for one second," said Lily standing up and unbuttoning her coat. Underneath she as wearing a fitted sweater, that really showed off the bump.

"Huh…" said James looking at it. "That's…big."

"You are such an insensitive oaf at times," said Lily but she didn't sound angry, she sounded more affectionate. She quickly buttoned her coat back up.

"Sorry it's just…" said James trailing off.

"I'm four and a half months pregnant. Calvin is a friend to me nothing more. And the baby is yours…obviously." Said Lily surprisingly calm.

James just gaped at her for a few seconds and then he dropped himself back onto the bench next to her.

"Could you repeat that?" he finally said.

"The baby is yours. I'm sorry I didn't tell you yesterday, I meant to but you just disappeared," said Lily nervous again about his reaction.

James just sat there for another few minutes, not saying anything or moving or even blinking. Lily thought that this meant he wasn't happy about it and was panicking and thinking of a way out.

"I don't want anything from you, I just thought I should tell you." Said Lily. James still didn't say anything or give any indication that he had heard. "Anyway…it's fine really you don't have to be involved with the baby or anything…I'll just be going."

"No," said James gripping onto her arm as she tried to get up. "It's my baby?"

"Yes," said Lily relaxing. At least he was talking now.

"You should have told me sooner," he said. He was such an idiot, why did he have to go and file for divorce. He didn't want a divorce, she was his wife and now she was having his baby and he had just pushed her even further away.

"I know, I'm sorry. I've only just accepted it myself…and then yesterday you thought…and I'm sorry I should have told you."

"How…whoah… I'm sorry I just don't know what…" said James shoving his hands through his hair. "I don't know how to react."

"Yeah it's big I know."

"Yeah…" said James. "What…I mean what do we do?"

"Um…I'm going to have it and past that I don't know."

"Right," said James surprised she even had to say that she was going to have it, why would she want to kill their child.

"I have an appointment for the baby on Tuesday, to find out the due date and run tests to find out if the baby has any conditions we need to know about," said Lily. "You can come if you want, but if you don't then that's fine too."

"What time?"

"Eleven."

"I'll be there."

* * *

**OK I am being a good author and updating quickly, I have written up to chapter eight and you will get an update every day if you Review. Reviews are rly rly poor right now so I want at least 10 for this chapter. I know threatening the readers isn't particularly nice but...I don't care.**

**REVIEW!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Sorry I'm late, there was an attack and we had a lot of patients," said Lily. She was ten minutes late for her appointment.

"I know, I was called away to it. I turned it down," said James stiffly. This was exactly what had ended their marriage; they put their jobs above everything else. James knew this and he wasn't going to make the same mistake he had made with Lily with their baby. Apparently, Lily wasn't willing to do the same.

"I'm sorry," said Lily. "Come on."

"Just one thing Lils," James said seriously. "I just want you to know that I am taking this seriously, I will be here for anything the baby or you needs. I know I made mistakes with you and I'm not doing that with our baby, so I'm not putting my job before you both. I hope you can do the same, because you need to start slowing down a little, it's not good for you or the baby. That's all I wanted to say."

"Right… okay," said Lily. She had not been expecting him to say that, and she felt awful, like she was failing her baby before it was even born. She had put her job before her marriage, and she didn't even realise that she was about to do the same with her baby.

"Okay then."

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"Well how did it go? Did you get a picture?" Gloria gushed as Lily and James came out of the exam room.

"Gloria, what are you doing here?" asked Lily, allowing her to pull her into a hug.

"What did the healer say?" she demanded. Gloria had almost given up hope of getting a grandchild, especially when Lily and James broke up, so she was ecstatic to say the least about Lily's pregnancy.

"The baby is perfectly healthy," said James. "And I told you I would come over tonight and tell you how it went."

"I know but I was passing by," lied Gloria.

"It's fine, I know how much you want a grandchild," laughed Lily. "Here is the picture."

"Ohhh look… there he is!" she squealed.

"He?" asked James. He and Lily had agreed not to find out the sex of the baby until they were born.

"Oh yes, it's a boy," Gloria insisted. "I can tell, I knew James was a boy straight away."

"Well alright then," laughed Lily. "I should go and book our next appointment."

"I'll come with you," said James.

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James and Gloria were in the hospital coffee shop, as Lily had gone back to work.

"So what are you going to do once the baby is born?" asked Gloria. She had been meaning to talk to James about this since he told her Lily was pregnant.

"What do you mean Mum?" asked James, hoping it wasn't what he thought it was going to be.

"I mean, are you going to get back together?"

"No," said James simply.

"Why not? A child should have both parents…"

"The baby will have both parents," James interrupted.

"I just meant a stable family environment…" said Gloria, knowing her son was getting annoyed.

"It will have a stable family, just not a traditional one. Lily and I will raise this child our way," said James, his eyes narrowing when he saw Lily and Calvin coming into the coffee shop laughing with each other.

"Fine and I should stop interfering, right?" said Gloria.

"Right."

"Give me back my coffee right now!" Lily demanded. Gloria looked over and saw her trying to grab a coffee cup out of Calvin's hand, who was holding it above his head.

"Decaf only. You know the rules," laughed Calvin.

"I hate you," pouted Lily, who stopped struggling when she noticed James and Gloria watching them. She walked over to them, Calvin automatically following her.

"Hi, what are you two still doing here? I thought you would have gone home," said Lily. She glanced at Calvin, who widened his eyes, telling her to introduce him. "Oh, this is my friend Calvin."

"Hi James, I've heard a lot about you, and you must be the infamous mother-in-law," said Calvin, shaking James' hand.

"Call me Gloria," said Gloria, eyeing Calvin suspiciously.

"Alright then Gloria," said Calvin, feeling a little put out by the way she was looking at him.

"Lily, were you trying to sneak coffee?" said James, sternly to her.

"Yes, I was," said Lily, crossing her arms immaturely. "I want coffee, I like coffee."

"Caffeine isn't good for the baby," said James.

"I know, but coffee is very good for me."

"You can have decaf or try drinking tea," suggested James.

"Oh don't even mention tea," chuckled Calvin.

"Don't!" snapped Lily at Calvin.

"Why? What's going on?" asked James, not liking that Calvin knew something about Lily that he didn't.

"Do you want to tell him or should I?" smirked Calvin.

"Neither," hissed Lily.

"Tell me what?" demanded James.

"Lily had her first pregnant hormonal tantrum this morning," Calvin said, causing Lily to glare at him.

"It wasn't a tantrum… I was just venting," said Lily.

"You threw a box of tampons at me," Calvin said, allowing a little smile to appear on his face.

"I asked you to get one thing and you came with that… gunk," said Lily, getting riled again.

"I'm sorry what exactly happened?" said James, feeling his mood darken further by the intimate way Lily and Calvin interacted.

"It doesn't matter, it is horrifically mortifying and irrelevant," said Lily.

"She called me at seven in the morning, she had a craving for a certain tea she had tried yesterday. Anyway, the coffee shop was out so I got her another kind. Then she lost it, threw the tampons and…"

"Stubbed my toe on the fridge," finished Lily darkly.

"Oh dear," said Gloria. "The mood swings will only get worse, if you're anything like I was when I was carrying James."

"Worse? Oh god," Lily groaned.

"Well don't worry at least you have someone to turn to," said James, scraping his chair back and walking out.

"I… uh have to check on patients," said Calvin awkwardly, then he left.

"What was that?" asked Lily, sitting down on James' vacant seat.

"I think James is feeling a little pushed out," said Gloria.

"Why?" asked Lily, confused.

"You had a pregnancy craving and a tantrum and he missed it," explained Gloria.

"I'm sure most people would say he got off easy."

"James wouldn't. He sees it as he is missing out and if he's missing out on the pregnancy stuff, he might be pushed out of the baby stuff."

"What? That would never happen," gasped Lily, suddenly understanding.

"That is not the way he sees it… he thinks that Calvin will replace him in more ways than one."

"I'll talk to him," said Lily, feeling awful.

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**I got 13 reviews for the last chapter so here is your update as promised. Another 10 reviews for this chapter and the next will be up tomorrow**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Hey, can I talk to you?" Lily asked, knocking on James's open office door.

"Lily… sure come in," he said, looking up from his desk.

"I just wanted to apologise for earlier," said Lily, closing the door behind her.

"I should apologise. I'm sorry for storming off like that," said James.

"It's fine, it was probably my fault anyway," said Lily, sitting in the chair across from James. "I got the feeling you were feeling a little pushed out."

"Yeah," was all James said. "If that is immature or whatever I'm sorry. But I just feel like I'm already going to be missing so much while you're pregnant… it just makes me feel even worse when someone else gets to be there and not me."

"I'm so sorry," said Lily sincerely. "I was insensitive."

"I just want to be there for all the little things. I want to be the one to tease you about your cravings and mood swings."

"I know and I said I'm sorry," sighed Lily. "But try to understand, I hadn't seen or heard from you in three months. I was starting to get used to the fact that you weren't a part of my everyday life anymore. I didn't see you everyday, you didn't bring me coffee or tell me to take the day off because I looked like death. You were gone."

"But I'm here now," said James. He understood what Lily was saying; he hated it, but he understood and he was desperate to be a part of her everyday life again, even if it wasn't as her husband.

"I know but it's weird… we're not together anymore and I don't know how we're meant to be…" said Lily helplessly.

"I know," said James, getting up and walking over to her. He crouched down in front of her. "I know this is weird, for both of us. But we weren't just married, were we? We were friends too, and like you said we ended it before we hated each other. We can still be real friends."

"I know but it's a big adjustment."

"I know. But we can do it, we have to," said James, taking her hands in his.

"We're going to be in each other lives forever," Lily commented. "We'll do it."

"We will," said James confidently, although in the back of his of mind he couldn't help but wonder if he could do it, if he could be in Lily's life forever and not be able to love her the way he wanted to. He wasn't allowed to anymore because he had been idiot.

"So… the next time I freak out or have a craving for something odd, I'll floo you?"

"Yes, please."

"Are you sure? I'm not the easiest…"

"Lils, I lived with you for almost 3 years, I know exactly how insane and unhinged you are," chuckled James.

"But add hormonal to that."

"I can take it."

"Alright then, but just remember you asked for it," she laughed.

"And I'll enjoy every minute."

"Even at four thirty in the morning when I'm screaming at you for getting the wrong kind of ice cream?"

"I won't get the wrong kind," he grinned.

"Alright then," said Lily, getting up. "I better get home."

"Okay," said James sadly, he was enjoying getting to talk to her.

"Oh and just so you know Calvin is only a friend. He will only ever be a friend. He could never replace you in any way," said Lily quietly. She was standing right in front of James, he was taller so she was just talking to his shoulder.

"Good," said James, wrapping his arms around Lily's body and hugging her. "I haven't stopped loving you." He murmured into her hair.

"There is a difference between loving someone and being in love with them," said Lily quietly.

James didn't say anything. What could he say? He couldn't tell her that he was still as in love with her as much as he had ever been, but he loved her like his family at the same time. Maybe he just had to lose her to see what she really meant to him, that he really couldn't be happy without her.

Lily pulled away and looked up at him. Without saying a word she stepped out of his embrace and walked towards the door. Before she walked out, she turned back round and said to him:

"I love you James and I always will."

He knew she meant it in a nice way, but he just felt worse. She loved him, but she hadn't said that she was still _in_ love with him. She loved him as a friend and the father of her child. She didn't love him as her husband anymore. He was prat for letting her go.

-------------------------------------------

"Here you go, a double bacon cheeseburger with extra gherkins, mustard and strawberry jam," said James, handing Lily a bag.

"Oh yummy," said Lily as she eagerly tore the bag open.

"That is really vile, no bloody wonder you won't go and order it yourself," said James, bemused by her reaction to such a disgusting cheeseburger.

"I'm pregnant. I am fat and bloated. Your offspring is rolling around my uterus. Even my feet are fat. And all of it your fault," said Lily dangerously. "The very least you can do is get me a cheeseburger."

"Fine, I'm sorry," said James, holding his hands up in surrender.

"So you should be," she huffed.

"I am sorry, enjoy your disgusting cheeseburger love," said James, kissing the top of her head.

"You do know this all your fault," said Lily. "If you had just kept it in your pants, none of this would be happening."

"Well I'm really glad I didn't," said James, and he meant it. If Lily wasn't pregnant he would never get to see her. And they were having a baby, they now had a lifelong bond that could never break.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 

Lily was about six months pregnant now. It was almost midnight and she was hovering outside James' flat. The baby was wide awake and was moving and kicking so much she couldn't sleep. She had been at work since the night before and was really tired, so tired she had actually cried when she realised the baby was not going to let her sleep. She had thought about going to see Calvin, he would be nice and say nice things and comfort her. But she wanted James; he knew her so well, he always said the right thing and knew what to do to make her feel better. She just wanted James. So she came to James's but she didn't think she should go in. She had found out the day before that James and Sirius were going on a double date, and Lily didn't want to interrupt James and some girl 'getting to know each other'. She really didn't want to know if he was having sex with someone else, she preferred it live under a cloud of denial. So now she was hovering.

But the baby had other ideas, it decided to jump on her bladder until she had no choice but to knock on James' door, just to use the bathroom. It was a few minutes until she heard someone come to the door. It was Sirius, who sometimes he stayed at James's, which was just one weird aspect of their friendship but Lily was used to it. It didn't even occur to her to think it was odd.

"Lily! What are you doing here?" he asked, surprised to see her in the middle of the night.

"I really have to pee," said Lily, pushing Sirius out of the way and going to the bathroom.

When she came out Sirius was leaning against the wall opposite, looking at her.

"What? I really had to pee," said Lily.

"Okay, I didn't say anything," said Sirius, holding up his hands.

"Good," said Lily.

"Are you here to see James?"

"No, no. I won't disturb him, I was just… it's okay, I'll just be going," said Lily awkwardly. She had spotted candles in the living room on her way to the bathroom, obviously something had happened and she still didn't want to think about James with someone else.

"I'll just get him, he understands you when I can't," said Sirius cautiously. Lily's face was tearstained and he knew James would murder him if he let her leave when she was upset about something.

"No really I'm…" Lily protested but trailed off when she realised Sirius had already disappeared into James bedroom.

A few seconds later Sirius came back out followed by James. James had obviously been in bed, he was only wearing a pair of boxers, his hair was sticking out at odd angles and he was scrunching his eyes as if trying to adjust them to the light.

"Lily… you've been crying," he said, although she had no idea how he knew that, he had barely opened his eyes. Sirius must have told him.

"It's nothing… just hormones," said Lily. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to disturb you."

"You're not. I told you to come to me anytime," said James, removing his hands from his face.

"I was just being silly… I'm tired. You should get back to your um… friend," she said awkwardly.

"You think he got lucky tonight?" laughed Sirius. "The date was such a disaster, I didn't even get any because of him."

"What?"

"He wouldn't shut up about baby stuff all night. I swear he was talking about that baby Quidditch thingy for over an hour," said Sirius, none too amused. "You do not talk about having kids with a woman on the first date, especially one we picked up in a bar."

"Yeah I'm a little rusty," said James sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.

"So thanks to him, we're both lonely tonight," said Sirius. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to get some sleep." And he went into the spare room.

"What's going on Lily?" James asked, leading her into the living room and sitting down on the sofa next to her.

"What baby Quidditch was Sirius talking about?" asked Lily suspiciously.

"Oh I got the baby a set so that they understand Quidditch. It's little figures that fly around and play the game over the crib, over 300 games," said James excitedly.

"You mean instead of a mobile?"

"Yeah."

"That's cute," said Lily, meaning how excited James was about it.

"So back to you. Why have you been crying?" said James, knowing that Lily was trying to change the subject.

"It was nothing really," said Lily feeling silly, then she felt a huge kick. "Oh my God."

"What? What?" said James, panicked.

"Feel this," said Lily, grabbing his hand and placing it on her stomach.

"Wow, that was a big one," said James, he was always amazed when he felt the baby move or kick. He felt such overwhelming love for the baby it scared him. How could he love someone so much before they are even born?

"Yeah it was, it's been happening all night," Lily grumbled.

"Is that why you're here and why you've been crying?"

"Pathetic, huh?"

"A little," James teased.

"I couldn't sleep but I worked an 18 hour shift — don't look at me like that I had to — and I'm so tired."

"Okay," said James, trying to think of a way to help.

"So I need you to… discipline the fetus."

"Pardon?" asked James, making sure he had heard right.

"Discipline the fetus for keeping me awake. I already tried I threatened to do everything I could think of to him, but he won't listen. So it's your turn."

"Think about what you just said," James said incredulously. "I can't discipline the baby they aren't even born yet."

"Well do something to make it stop," whined Lily.

"Okay, okay come here," said James. He sat back on the corner of the sofa, pulled his arm around Lily's waist and pulled her down with him. He placed his hands on her stomach and gently rubbed small circles on it.

"Wow… it stopped," Lily whispered ten minutes later. "How did you do that?"

"I think the baby just needed to know that Daddy was here to calm Mummy down," James whispered, breathing in Lily's scent. It had been a long time since he had been this close to her.

"That's amazing."

"Well hopefully you can get some sleep now," he said softly into her ear. "Stay here tonight, it's too late to go back to your place and the moving around might wake the baby again."

"Okay."

James wordlessly picked Lily up and carried her to his bedroom, and gently placed her on the bed. He kissed the top of her bed and made to go out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked sleepily.

"I'm going to sleep on the couch," he said softly.

"Don't be silly, stay here. It's your bed, and the brat might wake up and kick the crap out of me again," said Lily.

"Are you sure?" he asked. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

"Of course. I promise not to jump you," she joked.

"Awwww way to spoil my fun," he moaned.

"Shut up and go to sleep."

She had definitely been right to come to James, she felt so relaxed now. James always knew how it make everything seem better.

--------------------------------------------

Later that night, James was lying next to Lily, wide awake. She was asleep, and had been asleep for hours. But James couldn't sleep. He rolled over and slid his arm round her waist, hoping he didn't wake her. He lay there trying to remember the last time he had just held her, and he couldn't. How could he have gone months without just holding his own wife? Maybe if he had just every so often taken the time to hold her and let her know how much he loved her, things would have worked out and they would be together now. Every night James still agonized over why he had suggested a separation and now his reasons just seemed like complete nonsense, it was nothing a little time and communication couldn't have solved. He had given up too quickly and had lost his wife. He was an idiot and he knew it.

"My beautiful, beautiful wife," James whispered, kissing Lily's forehead. Then he removed his arm from her waist and rolled back over to the other side of the bed.

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**BAD READERS!!!!!!!! I didn't get 10 reviews for this chapter so really I shouldn't be posting but I didn't say that in the last chapter and so I am posting. This time I want 15 before I post again. I mean it.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"When is the spawn of Satan due anyway?" asked Sirius. He and James had gone to check on Lily, she was on maternity leave and hating every minute of it.

"Any day now," said James. "What do you mean the spawn of Satan?"

"Well currently Satan is wrestling with needles, and the thing in her stomach is her spawn therefore the spawn of Satan," Sirius explained, then he looked over at Lily who was getting more and more frustrated. "Mate, don't you think you should take those off her."

James looked over at Lily. She had decided to take up knitting to stop her going insane during her maternity leave. But Lily was not a good knitter and to James it looked like she was about to poke herself in the eye.

"Errrr… Lily…" said James cautiously as he gently took the knitting from her.

"I am not Satan, I'm pregnant. I am not the Devil," said Lily through gritted teeth. It was the end of July, the weather was scorching and she was huge and uncomfortable.

"You are," Sirius assured her. "Your hair is even the right colour."

"Don't listen to him, he is a moron," said James quickly, knowing how unpredictable Lily had become.

"I hate you," said Lily, her eyes filling with tears. "And I hate my hair because I am Satan."

"Your hair is gorgeous," said Calvin. He had let himself into the flat and overheard the conversation. He kissed the top of Lily's head. "Feeling any better yet?"

"Am I still pregnant?" she snapped.

"Alright I was just asking. You make it such a pleasure for me to visit you these days," said Calvin.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so miserable."

"I know you are," said Calvin, putting his arm around Lily's shoulder.

Sirius looked over at James with his eyes wide. He couldn't believe that Calvin had just walked in, kissed Lily and now had his arm round her, especially with James sitting right there. James just nodded grimly.

"Well we better be off," said James. He always left when Calvin was there. He knew Calvin loved Lily, just by the way he looked at her he recognized it all too well. Lily was completely clueless.

"Already?" asked Lily.

"I'm afraid so," said James, he kissed her quickly on the cheek. "Call me if you want anything."

"Okay… bye."

"See you Lily," said Sirius.

Hmmmpph, I'm still not Satan," she grumbled.

"That's a matter of opinion."

Before James and Sirius even made it to the door, they heard Lily scream.

"JAMES!!"

"What? What's wrong?" called James as he ran back into the kitchen.

"MY WATER BROKE."

--------------------------------------------

"I hate you!" cried Lily four hours later.

"You're doing great," said James, who had been by her side the entire time. "You're amazing."

"That is easy for you to say! I'm the one doing all the work!"

"I'm sorry," said James, not knowing what else to say.

"OOOOWWWWWWW You ought to be bloody castrated!" Lily screamed as she got another contraction.

---------------------------------------

Finally three minutes before midnight on July 31st, Harry James Potter was born.

"Oh look there he is," gasped Lily as the Healers handed her their son for the very first time.

"I know look at him," said James, in complete awe.

Harry was wrapped in a blanket, looking up at his parents. He had short, spiky jet black hair. He had a cute round baby face, with chubby red cheeks contrasted with his pale complexion. The most noticeable thing about Harry, apart from his hair, was his big bright green eyes.

"He has your hair," said Lily.

"And your eyes," James whispered, touching the top of his son's head.

"He's beautiful. Look at what we did."

"He's perfect," said James, kissing the top of his wife's head and then he just watched his son fall asleep.

-----------------------------------------

Later that night James was rocking Harry to sleep. Lily was asleep.

"You are really cute. It looks like you got the best of both of us, you're definitely lucky to get those eyes, I always loved your mum's eyes. And your hair… you'll probably hate it in a few years but you'll soon learn that the ladies love the hair… you're a little young for that though. I hope you get your mum's brains, and you're kind as she is even to Slytherins, but make sure you are still a bad ass on the Quidditch pitch. You'll be a good boy, the nice one that mums want to date their daughters. You'll look after your mum, you won't let her marry some bloke that doesn't deserve her, and Calvin, you better never ever call him Daddy, okay? I know you won't anyway."

"You're his Daddy. He knows that and he'll always know that," said Lily quietly.

"How long have you been awake?"

"A few minutes," said Lily. "It was nice, what you were saying to him I mean."

"I was just talking to him so he can get used to the sound of my voice," shrugged James.

"He will be used to your voice. I'll never push you out of his life, no matter what happens. You can see him as often as you want, every day… twice a day… whenever you want. He is as much yours as he is mine and I want us to raise him together properly. I don't want him to grow up to be one of those spoiled kids that can pit one parent off against another."

"We will, we'll do this together," said James.

"There is no one else I'd want to do this with."

"Me neither," said James. "I love you."

"Love you too."

But he knew she didn't mean it the way he did. She meant she loved him like family, as Harry's Dad not as her husband. But it was still nice to hear it.

* * *

Well done readers here is your update, keep reviewing. I'm having a lot of problems with my internet connection so if I'm late with an update it's not my fault 


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Harry is now seven months old, and he had started talking and was at the age where he could crawl into any space. He was now the spitting image of James, except for his eyes. Lily and Calvin were still really close friends, and while he hadn't told her how he felt she was starting to catch on that he might feel more for her. James and Sirius were always popping in to see Harry, at least once a day.

"Harry, where are you now?" said Lily, exasperated. She had just given Harry his lunch, she turned her back for one minute and he had disappeared again. Harry was going through a phase where he wanted to explore and cause as much mayhem as possible. He didn't just look like James.

"Harry, I'm not playing," she sighed. They were still living in the flat and it seemed to be getting smaller each day. Lily just didn't have a lot of time to house hunt. Then she heard someone coming in the front door.

"Who's that?" she called as she crouched down to check if Harry was under the table.

"It's just me," said James, standing in the doorway. "What are you doing?"

"Your son is hiding _again._ He's been doing this all morning, if I take my eyes off him for one second he's gone," said Lily, getting to her feet and dusting herself off.

"Where could he possibly hide?" said James, looking around the tiny kitchen that had baby toys and other essentials lying around.

"Under the cot, inside the TV cabinet, the gap in between the toilet and the wall those are just a few of his favourites."

"Harry," James called, half laughing at Lily's little rant. "Harry."

"Dadda," Harry squealed, his little head suddenly poking out on of the bottom kitchen cabinets.

"Oh, now you come out," said Lily, her voice full of frustration.

"I hear you have been bad boy today for your Mummy," said James, lifting Harry out of the cabinet.

"Doggy? Doggy coming?" said Harry, looking around.

"No, the Doggy isn't coming. Doggy had to go to work," said James, taking Harry into the living room and sitting him next to his toy chest.

"Doggy? Does he mean Sirius?" said Lily.

"Yeah he does…"

"You let him see his godfather transform into a dog? Does he knew Daddy is a dear?" said Lily, obviously disapproving.

"Daddy Stag," said Harry innocently as he pulled out all his toys.

"I just put those away," groaned Lily.

"I'll take him to my place this afternoon," said James. "You can get things done."

"Thanks," said Lily. "The problem is this place just isn't big enough anymore."

"I told you to move into the house," said James, meaning the house they had bought when they got married. They had rented it out for a few months, but now it was empty.

"And I told you I didn't want to move in there, I'll find somewhere else when I have time to look," said Lily wearily.

"Then look this afternoon, I'll bring him back after dinner," said James, lifting Harry up.

"Okay, his bag is in his room it's fully stocked," said Lily. Even though James had everything Harry needed at his flat, Lily always insisted that he take extra nappies, clothes and food.

"Right, come on then Harry," said James.

"Toy…" Harry whimpered, looking down at his toys.

"Alright you can pick one," said James sternly. There was a huge collection of Harry's toys already at James' flat.

"Here take the troll, I've been tripping over that all week," said Lily, putting the toy in Harry's hand.

------------------------------------------------

"Wow…" said Calvin, looking round the flat it was immaculate. "What happened here? Did you murder the baby?"

"James has him this afternoon," said Lily. She was lounging on the sofa, reading a letter that had arrived half an hour ago.

"Are you okay? You look a little…peaky?"

"It's from the lawyers," said Lily, handing him the letter. "A reminder we have to draw up the divorce papers and sign in a month or we have to file all over again."

"Right… what are you going to do?" said Calvin, sitting down next to her. He hadn't acted on his feelings yet. He couldn't hit on her after she had just had a baby, he was giving her time. If she was going to get divorced, then he would tell her; if not, then it probably meant she still loved James. His heart was pounding, waiting for her to answer.

"There is no point in waiting any longer and having to file again," said Lily.

"You're going to have the papers drawn up?" he asked, hardly daring to believe it.

"Yeah… it'll be fine. The divorce will be easy: joint custody of Harry and a fifty-fifty split of the assets," said Lily. "I'll write to my lawyer now and have him draw them up."

"Yeah that's good. You can move on… have you thought about dating again?" asked Calvin, sweating nervously.

"I've thought about it and to be honest… it terrifies me. I'm a soon to be divorced single mother… that's scary," Lily confessed.

"It doesn't have to be scary," Calvin said quietly.

"But it will be, I know it will be, and I have Harry to think about."

"Why don't you go out with me? You know me, we get on and I think Harry is great, and he likes me too," said Calvin, rushed.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I've been mad about you for ages. You must have noticed something… I mean if you don't think it would be a good idea… we get on so well and… what do you think?" asked Calvin anxiously.

"Um… okay I guess we could try that," said Lily quietly.

"Really?"

"Yeah, okay."

"What about dinner, tomorrow night?" he asked eagerly.

"Sure… that'll be great."

"Great, I'll make reservations."

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"Can you take Harry tomorrow night?" Lily asked James. He had dropped Harry off and she had just put him to bed.

"All night?" asked James. Harry had never spent the night at his flat.

"Yeah all night. If you can't… or you don't want to it's fine…"

"Of course I want to, it's just you've never let me keep him all night," said James.

"I know I've been really over protective but… you should be able to have him all night. He listens to you more than me now."

"Thanks I'd love to have him," said James it didn't even occur to him to ask why she wanted him to have Harry.

"Thank you, if you pick up about six, I'll have everything ready."

James had gotten the reminder letter the same as Lily. He didn't bring it up and neither did she. He took it to mean she didn't want the divorce and he was more than happy with that. If she was going to go ahead with it she would have mentioned it, wouldn't she?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 

Lily and Calvin were outside Lily's flat. They had gone to dinner then for a walk in the park. Lily still hadn't said anything to James about her going on a date with Calvin or having the divorce papers drawn up. She knew she should and that he would find out sooner or later but she didn't want to. It would make it all seem so real when she told him. She knew it was silly, they had separated a year ago, but she still couldn't bring herself to say to his face that the divorce was going through.

"Well I had a lovely time, thank you," said Lily. She was trying to keep a smile on her face, but it was an effort. She shouldn't have said she would go out with Calvin; she didn't like him that way, he was her friend and she should have known better.

"So did I. I hope we can do this again," said Calvin.

"Hmmmmm," said Lily, turning to unlock the door, she made to go in. "Are you coming in?"

"I'm a gentleman…"

"I didn't mean that," Lily protested.

"I know," he laughed. Then he leaned forward to kiss her, and at the last second Lily turned her head so that he kissed her cheek.

"We'll take it slow. I care too much to rush you into anything," he said, softly into her ear.

"Right…" said Lily hesitantly.

"I'll see you tomorrow," said Calvin, kissing her cheek again and walking away.

"What the hell have I done?" Lily whispered when Calvin was out of sight.

Suddenly she wished that Harry was inside, something about watching her son sleep always soothed Lily when she was thinking over a problem.

--------------------------------------------

"Mumah," Harry called as James brought him home the next morning. "Mumah."

"Hi baby, I missed you," said Lily, taking Harry and kissing him. "Were you a good boy for your Daddy last night?"

"He was a terror, screaming for breakfast at _six in the morning_," said James, but he didn't look annoyed, he was smiling.

"Oh you good boy, you gave Daddy a lie in," said Lily, bouncing Harry on her knee.

"A lie in? _Six_ in the bloody morning?"

Lily just laughed. Then they heard Calvin apparate outside and let himself into the flat.

"Cally!" Harry shouted when he saw him.

"Hi little guy," said Calvin, crouching down to Harry's level. "I've brought a present for you." Then he gave Harry a figurine of a Quiddich player that flew around on a broom.

"Ooohhhh," said Harry, gazing at his new toy, flying around.

"Harry, what do you say?" said Lily.

"Hanch choo," said Harry, not taking his eyes off the toy. He meant 'thank you' but he could only say certain words properly.

"You're welcome," said Calvin then he got up and sat down next to Lily. He put his arm round her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. "Were you just bringing Harry back?"

"Uh… yeah," said James, looking at Lily questioningly.

"Did Lily tell you about us?" asked Calvin.

"No I hadn't," said Lily, silently cursing Calvin for saying anything.

"What about you two?" asked James calmly, but only Lily knew that inside he was livid.

"Uh… don't you have to be at work?" said Lily to Calvin.

"I can stay," he said.

"No you should go," said Lily, all but pushing him out the door.

"Okay," said Calvin. "If you want me…"

"I know," said Lily, quickly slamming the door. She took a deep breath before she went back into the living room. James was sitting in the armchair rubbing his jaw with his hand; he wasn't happy and she knew it.

"What's going on Lily?" he said stiffly.

"It's not what you're thinking, it's not what Calvin made it sound like," said Lily, sitting on the edge of the coffee table so she was looking straight at him.

"Is that why you wanted me to take Harry all night, so you could be… go out with him?"

"Yes."

"You should have told me when you started something with him. I should have been told, I know it's your business but it affects our son so you should have had the decency to tell me," said James, still keeping his voice calm.

"I know I'm sorry, but it just started last night."

"You slept with him on the first date? You really aren't the person you used to be," said James, getting up to go.

"But I… I didn't sleep with him," said Lily, shocked he would think she had.

"Whatever, it's obviously none of my business. Just be careful about what Harry sees okay?" said James, needing to get out of there.

"James…"

"I have to go," he said. He couldn't look at her, he couldn't look at his wife knowing she was with someone else, that she had really moved on. And what was worse, when Lily moved on she moved on with his son.

"Bye bye, Dadda," said Harry innocently, oblivious to what was going on.

"Bye Harry," said James, his voice softening.

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"You are just full of surprises today," said James furiously.

Lily had put Harry to bed an hour ago and James had just shown up at the flat furious and smelling faintly of Firewhiskey.

"Have you been drinking?" hissed Lily, closing over the front door so James wouldn't wake Harry.

"Yeah I have," snapped James. "I got the letter this afternoon, our divorce papers are ready to be signed. I didn't know we had divorce papers."

"I was going to tell you… I didn't think it would be this soon. You must have gotten the reminder," said Lily, hating the way James was looking at her. He was never angry with her anymore, she hated it when he was this mad at her.

"When? When were you going to tell me about it? Around the time you were going to tell me about Calvin? A boyfriend and a divorce in one day."

"James, I'm sorry…"

"Why couldn't you just tell me?"

"I… I don't know."

"You don't even like the guy. You see him as a friend, like you do Sirius and Remus. You're kidding yourself if you think you will ever love him."

"Go home and sober up," said Lily firmly.

"No I want to see my son, to make sure you haven't got any more surprises up your sleeve."

"You are not getting anywhere near him while you're in that state. Go home and come back in the morning," said Lily, slamming the door in his face.

Lily slid down the door tears stinging her eyes. Why did James manage to make her feel worse than anybody else ever could with just one look? And why did she still love him so much? So that night Lily slept in the chair next to her son's crib, she fell asleep watching him sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 

The next morning, James and Lily went to the Ministry to sign the divorce papers. James was more than a little hungover and felt bad about the way he had acted with Lily the night before. He was waiting for her outside the lawyer's office.

"Hi," he said when he saw her.

"Hi," she said. "How are you?"

"A little rough," he admitted. "I'm sorry about last night, I was drunk but I was out of line."

"It's alright," said Lily. "I should have told you."

"Yeah, you should have."

"The papers are pretty basic. We get joint custody of Harry and any joint assets are split equally between us. The child support will just stay the same," said Lily, realising that he didn't know.

"It doesn't matter I'm not signing them," said James calmly.

"Pardon?"

"I'm not signing the divorce papers, not today not ever," said James.

"What?" demanded Lily. "That is why we are here."

"No I'm here to talk to you, I never had any intention of signing anything," said James, then he realised Harry wasn't with her. "Where is Harry? With Calvin?"

"With your Mum," Lily snapped. "Don't change the subject! Why won't you sign the papers? You can take them to your lawyer or take them home and look over them."

"I don't need to look over them I'm sure they are perfectly fair," said James, amused by how flustered Lily was. He knew she didn't feel anything for Calvin and last night he decided he was going to try and get her back instead of sitting on his ass wishing he could get her back. He was finally doing something about it. "But I'll never sign them."

"Why not?" hissed Lily, not wanting to make a scene in the middle of the Ministry.

"I'm still in love with you," he said simply, as if it was obvious.

"What?" This time she shouted.

"I. Still. Love. You," said James slowly, taking a step closer to her with every word.

"Where is this coming from? Is this about Calvin? I already told you that was just one date, and you knew I would start dating again. We separated over a year ago," said Lily, backing away from him.

"It's not about Calvin, I know you're not interested in him. We may have separated a while ago, but I told you I hadn't stopped loving you…"

"And I told you there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with them," said Lily, panic evident in her voice.

"I know the difference and I know you can love someone and be in love with them as well. I am in love with you, I always have been," said James staring intently at her.

"I… um have to pick up the papers," stuttered Lily, and then she all but ran into the Lawyers office.

"You really are wasting your time," said James when Lily emerged from the office with the divorce papers in her hand. "I won't sign them."'

"Why not? It won't change anything…"

"It will change _everything_. You won't be my wife anymore."

"I haven't been your wife in a long time," said Lily, getting more and more annoyed.

"You've always been my wife."

"Why are you doing this? Have I been unfair to you in anyway? You see Harry anytime you want, I never object… what more do you want?"

"You."

"Too bad, you had me and you decided you didn't want me," Lily snapped.

"What? I never did…"

"You wanted a separation and you filed for divorce in the first place! I didn't want to split up! I thought we could work it out if we just took some time off work and talked about our problems! But no! You decided to end it! So stop all this crap and sign the papers!" said Lily, thrusting the papers at him.

"No."

"Oh then just… got to hell," shouted Lily, storming off.

"Hey Lils!" he shouted after her.

"What?" she shouted, turning round.

"You're so sexy when you're mad at me."

-----------------------------------------------------

"Ugh, your Daddy is stupid! Imagine filing for divorce and then _childishly_ refusing to sign the papers!" Lily grumbled to Harry who was devouring a banana in front of her. "Stupid, Harry, he is stupid."

"Stoopid," Harry repeated.

"Yes stupid," said Lily, then she continued. "He says he still loves me, I think I believe him. He never lied about that. Then there is Calvin, he is a great guy and he loves you too, granted he'll never love you as much as James… he adores me and I don't think he would ever hurt either of us. But James… not intentionally, especially not you. So what do you think? Should you be with someone you don't love enough for them to break your heart or do you risk everything for the one who can break it?"

"Dadda, Dadda," gurgled Harry.

"Well that is predictable, of course you would say that. I need you to be impartial here," Lily scolded.

"Dadda, Dadda."

"I need to stop venting at the baby," muttered Lily.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Lily, you are being really immature," James protested.

"Sign the damn papers!" said Lily, throwing them at him.

James had come to take Harry to a Quidditch game, and while he was getting Harry's bag Lily had taken the tickets from his jacket pockets and wouldn't get give them back.

"No. Give me back the tickets," James said, trying to stay calm and extending his hand out for the tickets.

"Sign the papers," Lily said obstinately.

"No I'm not signing them ever," James sighed.

"Why won't you just grow up and sign the damn thing!" Lily shouted. "If you don't sign in two weeks, we have to file again!"

"Will you leave me alone in two weeks then?"

"I'll leave you alone right now if you'll just sign the papers."

"I'll never sign them, so just give it up! I love you and I'm going to try and win you back!" said James, raising his voice in frustration.

"It's too late! I'm dating Calvin!"

"You don't feel a bloody thing for him, you and I both know it!" James shouted.

"So?" Lily asked angrily. "He is a nice guy! He adores me!"

"So do I!" James argued.

"_And _he is good with Harry!"

"I'm his Dad!"

"Will you stop interrupting?" Lily snapped.

"Hell no! Come on Lily, tell me something else about him! Something that's actually relevant!"

"He would never hurt me!" she countered. "You can't say the same, can you?"

"I'll never hurt you again," said James quietly.

"How do I know that?! You told me that when we first got married, but it obviously didn't stick! I could never go through that again, and I have no intention of risking it because it wouldn't just be my heart, it would be Harry's too!"

"I would never hurt him, Lily, and you know that!"

"I know!"

"Then what the bloody hell are you talking about?" James exploded. Lily still managed to confuse and frustrate him to his breaking point.

"YOU!" Lily bellowed, her whole body shaking with rage. "I'm talking about you! _You're_ the one who left me! _You're_ the one who gave up on me! _You_ filed for divorce! And now all I'm asking is for you to follow it through!" shouted Lily.

Before James could respond, they were interrupted by Harry screaming. They both turned to where it was coming from and there he was in the doorway howling because he had seen them arguing.

"It's okay, don't cry," said Lily, picking Harry up and hugging him. "Don't cry..."

"It's alright, Harry. We were just talking," said James, trying to calm him.

"Here, take him to the game," said Lily, giving James the tickets as she rocked Harry until he calmed down.

---------------------------------------

"Lily told me you won't sign the divorce papers," said Calvin that night. James had brought Harry back from the game, Lily was putting him to bed and Calvin had cornered him in the kitchen.

"What's it to you?" James said, highly annoyed. This really wasn't any of Calvin's business, as much as he'd think it actually was.

"You know very well what it is to me," Calvin said, his voice dangerously low.

"Oh yeah, you're _trying_ to hit on _my_ wife," said James calmly.

"She is your wife in name only. Lily is desperate to get away from you to be with me. Just sign the papers, you've made your point."

"You really think she wants you?" said James, trying to control his urge to punch Calvin.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I do," said Calvin, getting riled.

"I don't, and I know Lily a hell of a lot better than you do."

"If you knew her, you would know she wants rid of you. Sign the papers and let her be happy."

"You won't make her happy," snapped James, thinking how satisfying it would be to knock him out.

"I'll make her happier than you could," Calvin insisted, eyeing James with animosity.

"You actually believe that, don't you?" laughed James.

"Yeah I do," said Calvin forcefully.

"You're deluded."

"Look, Lily is too nice to say this, but if you don't sign the papers, you might find you'll be spending less time with Harry."

"That is enough," said Lily in a deathly calm voice. She was standing in the doorway, her eyes glinting in anger.

"Lily!" Calvin said, jumping a bit and looking alarmed. "I was just trying…"

"Save it," she snapped. "Both of you are acting like children."

"If my son wasn't asleep in the next room, I would break your jaw," said James, deadly serious.

"I said that is enough!" Lily snapped.

"I was just trying to get him to sign the divorce papers," said Calvin.

"And I was telling him that it is none of his business."

"He thinks you still love him."

"I said stop it!" said Lily, raising her voice.

"Lily tell him you don't love him and get him to sign the papers," urged Calvin.

"She can't do it," said James, looking at Lily, who was just standing there looking at them.

"Lily…"

"You have a choice to make, love," said James, walking over to Lily. "Me or him. You know I love you and I'll spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you and I'll never let you go again. I never really gave up on you, you know…"

"Lily, don't listen to him," said Calvin in the background, but Lily barely heard him, she was mesmerized by the look in James' eyes.

"Don't pick me for Harry, pick me for you. I don't want you to even think about Harry as a factor, I'll never let anything going on between us affect him. I'm going to take him to my place tonight. If you pick me, go there. If you don't I'll drop him off in the morning, I'll sign the divorce papers and we'll never talk about this again."

"There!" Calvin said desperately. "Just tell him now and you'll be free."

"Think about it. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who would threaten to keep our son from me?" said James, rubbing Lily's cheek with his thumb. "Just think about it."

Then he went into Harry's room, picked him up and apparated to his flat.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 

"I know you're mad at me. I shouldn't have said anything about Harry, I was just trying…" said Calvin almost desperate to make Lily understand.

"I don't want to hear it," Lily interrupted. "You know James loves Harry more than anything in the world, and you know I would never ever keep him from him."

"I know I'm sorry."

"You had no right to say that."

"I know, but you heard what he said. He'll sign the papers."

"He said I had to choose," said Lily quietly.

"Yeah but you know how much I love you…he hurt you…" Calvin trailed off when he realised that Lily obviously wasn't seeing things the way he was. "You're not seriously considering…"

"Why would you ever threaten James with that? I don't even know who you are, the man I thought I knew would never have that. That was cruel and uncalled for. My divorce is my business, mine and James'"

"I already said I was sorry. I just wanted you to be happy, to be free of him…"

"No you wanted me to yourself. You wanted to push James out and play happy families," shouted Lily angrily.

"That isn't true."

"Yeah it is, why else would you tell James he would be seeing less of Harry?"

"Well he is around here a lot more than most people would be. Most guys see their kids at weekends."

"I didn't want that for Harry, I wanted him to grow up with both parents…why am I justifying myself to you?" said Lily truly shocked by what Calvin was saying.

"Don't do anything rash," said Calvin cautiously he knew what she was going to say.

"Get out! I don't think I could even have you as a friend anymore let alone anything else.

"You've been manipulating me."

"I haven't. It was just today I…I'm not what you're thinking I am," said Calvin panicking. "It was a mistake, let me make it up to you,"

"No. Get out!" said Lily strongly as she held the front door open.

"Lily don't…" he protested.

"Go or I will let James break your jaw."

Calvin hung his head and did as she asked. He could kick himself, he had been so close to getting the woman he had loved for months and he had ruined all because of one little threat. And he had probably lost his best friend.

------------------------------------------

THREE HOURS LATER

James was sitting on his balcony cradling a glass of firewhiskey. Harry was asleep in his room. By now James was convinced that Lily wasn't coming, it had been three hours she was obviously with Calvin. James just didn't understand how she could do it, he didn't understand how she could pick someone she didn't even love over him. Maybe she was completely over him after all. James sat there and mentally pulled himself together, Harry shouldn't see him falling apart. He had promised Lily that her decision would not get in the way of them being parents and he intended to keep that promise. It scared him though, what Calvin had said would he be seeing less of Harry? James didn't think he could bear it if he couldn't see Harry and Lily every day.

James took one more deep breath and wiped the tears from his cheek. He got up to go inside and sign the divorce papers. Then he saw her, she was there in his living room looking right at him.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Lily…I thought you were…you…you're here," whispered James completely amazed to see her.

"Yeah I'm here, sorry I took so long. After Calvin left I just had to think and…here I am."

"Calvin is gone?"

Lily nodded her head. "You were right I didn't love him or even like him as more than a friend…and I couldn't pretend to love someone who would threaten to take your son from you."

"Does this mean?"

"It means I pick you…I think we should give it another try," said Lily suddenly sounding unsure of herself.

Before Lily could blink James was standing in front of her, looking down on her. Suddenly he reached out and pulled her body to his.

"You won't regret this, I promise. I'll never give you reason to doubt how much I love you ever again," he whispered into the top of her head, treasuring the feeling of her body against hers.

"You better not," she whispered.

"I won't," he said. He curled his finger under her chin and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, I never stopped loving you," she said.

"Good," he said kissing her again.

"Come on Potter, have you gone soft on me. Give me a real kiss," laughed Lily pulling him down to her and kissing him passionately.

"Now that I have missed," James laughed when Lily let him up for oxygen.

------------------------------------------------

"Good morning Mrs. Potter," James whispered when he saw Lily starting to stir. He had been awake for hours just watching her, he couldn't believe she was actually there with him after all that time apart.

"Morning," she mumbled rolling over so she was facing away from him.

"Where do you think you're going?" laughed James. He knew she really wasn't a morning person, one of the big differences between them. He loved nothing more than waking up and talking all morning in bed, she just wanted him to shut up so she could sleep.

"Away from the light," she grunted. The window was right behind James and the sun was shining through the curtains.

"This is our first morning back together and Harry is still in bed and you want to sleep," said James incredulously.

"Damn straight," mumbled Lily as James pulled her back into his arms. "It's seven in the morning and he is still asleep. Do you know how rare that it?"

"About as rare as us getting back together."

"We can have more sex later…"

"That isn't the point," laughed James. "I just want to talk to you."

"In the morning. There is something not quite right about you."

Then they heard Harry screaming in the next room.

"Go and get the baby dear," said Lily sleepily.

----------------------------------------------

"ARGGHHHH I didn't mean bring him in here," moaned Lily.

James had just come back into the room with a gurgling Harry in his arms.

"You are so maternal at times dear," commented James placing Harry on the bed.

"Ugh what is that on my shoulder? Booger or banana?" groaned Lily, Harry was trying to get her attention by patting her on the shoulder.

"Ummmm…banana," James confirmed.

"Oh Great."

And to James it was great they were finally a proper family.


End file.
